May 12, 2026

I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.

Lamott wrote this during one of the most brutally honest stretches of her early sobriety and single motherhood, a period when she was held together by her faith community at St. Andrew Presbyterian and by what she called the sheer stubbornness of grace. She was not performing wellness or manufacturing hope — she was admitting that the inside of her head was a disaster zone, and that she showed up anyway. That willingness to name the ugliness without letting it have the final word is exactly what resilience looks like in this tradition: not strength, but radical honesty followed by the smallest possible step forward.